Urashaka umugabo cyangwa umugore mwiza ?

« Hahirwa uwubaha Uwiteka wese, akagenda mu nzira ze, kuko uzatungwa n’imirimo y’amaboko yawe, uzajya wishima, uzahirwa. Umugore wawe azaba nk’umuzabibu wera cyane mu kirambi cy’inzu yawe, abana bawe bazaba nk’uduti twa elayo, bagose ameza yawe. » (Zaburi 128:1-3).

Ibyo ni byo Imana yari yarateganirije umuryango. Ni na ryo shingiro ry’umunezero nyakuri mu muryango. Ikiriho ubu, ni ikinyuranyo cy’ibyo: ni abagabo badashaka kuvunikira ingo zabo no kurera neza abana babo, no gukunda abo bashakanye, bakarangwa  n’ubunebwe, cyangwa gucura abo bashinzwe, ahubwo bagakunda abandi bagore no kubamarira utwabo. Ikindi kiriho ni abagore basesagura umutungo w’abo bashakanye, wabura bagatangira kwicuruza, ngo bajyanirane n’akagezweho kose, abadashoboye ibyo bakicwa n’amaganya no gusabiriza iyo bavutse.

Urugo rwiza rugizwe n’umuhungu wemeye gusiga iwabo akabana n’umugore we akaramata kandi akamukunda; n’umukobwa wemeye kwibagirwa iwabo, ishyanga ryabo n’inzu ya se, bakubaka urwa babiri, bagasenya urwivanzemo inama zishukana z’ab’ahandi. Ibyo ntibivuga ko abana bacana umubano n’ababyeyi babo. Basabwa kubagoboka, kubitaho no kubakunda, ariko bakagira uruziga rwera ababyeyi n’inshuti za bombi batinjizwamo no gutanga inama mbi no kwivanga mu miyoborere yarwo, kuko byatera amakimbirane. Umugabo n’umugore bakwiriye kubaka iteme rihuza imiryango yombi, nyamara bakaba bafite ubwigenge n’ubushobozi busesuye mu miyoborere y’uwo muryango wabo mushya.

« Ni cyo gituma umuntu azasiga se na nyina, akabana n’umugore we akaramata, bombi bakaba umubiri umwe. » (Itangiriro 2:24). « Umva mukobwa, utekereze utege ugutwi, kandi wibagirwe ishyanga ryanyu n’inzu ya so » (Zaburi 45:10/11).

ICYITONDERWA :

Babyeyi, abo bana ni abanyu bombi, n’umuryango bagiye kubaka ni uwanyu. Muzirinde kuwubera ibisitaza. Mubyeyi, reka gufata umukazana wawe nk’umukozi cyangwa umukwe wawe nk’igikoresho cy’umukobwa wawe.

Nawe muhungu, ababyeyi bombi barangana kandi bakundwa kimwe. N’ubwo atakubyaye, ariko yakubyariye umugeni. Icyakora, menya ko wacutse, akaryoshye ko mwa nyoko ukazibukire, cyangwa wemere kugasangira n’uwo wahisemo. Unyurwe n’ubushobozi n’uburyo bw’uwo washatse. Inama n’ubuyobozi bya so na nyoko, byakubakiye ubusore bwawe, ariko biramutse byimukiye mu rugo rwawe, byarusenya aho kurwubaka. Niba waravuyeyo udakuze, ubwo warapfubye !

Nawe mukobwa, uri umukazana, ntabwo uri mukeba wa nyokobukwe, kandi ntuje gutanya abavandimwe. N’ubwo abo babyeyi batakubyaye, ariko bakubyariye umugabo. Imbanzirizamushinga y’ibikunejeje, ari wo mutungo usanganye uwo musore ushakanye na we, ni bo bashyizeho inzu n’ibuye ry’urufatiro rwabyo. Gutegura ibyawe, wenda byabasize mu bukene! Uzirinde gutanga inama zibacura cyangwa zibibagirwa.

Buri wese mu bashakanye, akwiriye kugira iri sezerano mu mutima rivuga riti « Ndagukunda, nzabana nawe uko uri kose, nzahora ngukunda n’igihe nzaba ntagifite impamvu n’imwe iguteye igikundiro… kuko nanjye Imana ikomeje kunkunda nk’uko ndi. » (Les secrets de l’amour, p. 178)

Ku bw’ibyo, uwashatse wese agomba kwinyugushura inama z’abahoze ari urungano n’inshuti, akamenya kubikira ibanga uwo bashakanye, akiyambaza Imana igihe umwanzi abavangiye, akihangana  igihe ubuzima bubagoye, agacika ku ndwara yo guhora arambagiza, n’ubwo uwo yashatse yaba atujuje ibyo yifuza byose: uburanga, amashuri, gutunganya, umutungo, ubuzima, n’igikundiro.

Gusenya urwa batatu hagasigara urwa babiri rwubatse ku mahame Imana yageneye kuyobora umuryango, ni yo soko y’amahirwe n’amahoro asesuye.

Abana na bo ntibakibona inama, amabwiriza, amategeko n’uburezi bukwiriye, bitewe n’impamvu zinyuranye : kutamenya ingaruka yabyo, igihe gito cyo kuba mu muryango, gutetesha kwitiranywa n’urukundo kukakwibagiza ko azakura na we akibeshaho, igihe kibi n’imiturire bitera uburangare, ubunebwe n’ubwigomeke.

« Kandi bene Eli bari ibigoryi, ntibari bazi Uwiteka… Nuko icyaha cy’abo basore kirakomera cyane imbere y’Uwiteka, kuko cyateye abantu kuzinukwa igitambo cy’Uwiteka. » (1 Samweli 2:12, 17)

« Uburezi bw’abana ntibutangirira igihe gikwiriye. Intambwe y’ibanze y’ubwigenge ntiyatunganijwe, ibyo bigatuma abana bakurira mu bwigomeke. Kandi uko bakura, ibyo bikiyongera. Mu gihe abana bakura, bibwira ko bagomba kwikurikirira izabo nzira, maze ababyeyi babo ibyabo bikaba kuyoboka ibyifuzo by’abana. Bagategereza ko ababyeyi babo babakurikiza. Iyo bageze mu myaka yo kugoboka ba se cyangwa ba nyina, ntibihanganira gucyahwa kandi ntibemera kwikorera uwo mutwaro. Bababohoye inshingano zabo, maze basigara nta bushobozi bwo kuba ingirakamaro iwabo n’ahandi. Ntacyo bashobora kwihanganira. Ababyeyi ni bo bakoze inshingano zose, bakabarekera gukurira mu bunebwe, ntibabamenyereje gukorera kuri gahunda, umurimo wimbitse no kuzigama. Ntibabigishije kwiyanga, babagaragarizaga impuhwe z’agakabyo, banezezaga ibyifuzo byabo kuri buri kantu, maze ubuzima bwabo burabimenyera. Imyifatire n’imikorere yabo ni urukozasoni. Ni abahanya baremerera n’ahabazengurutse. Mu gihe bari bakiri abana bato bagikeneye kuyoborwa, ababyeyi babo babemereye gusohokana n’abahungu b’abasore maze icyitegererezo cyabo cyonona kibagiraho ingaruka. » (Témoignages, vol. 1, p. 85-86).

Ngiyo inkomoko : y’ibirara, abajura, imyigaragambyo y’urudaca, ababyeyi bakeneshwa cyangwa bicwa n’abo babyaye, ingo zitaruhura abavandimwe, amakwe atagira ishusho, n’abuzukuru bazanwa n’abahungu babo bakomotse ku bageni batazwi n’umuryango, inda z’indaro, ibibyarwa. Ibyo biri mu bibujije amahoro igihugu n’imiryango.